http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0ASCj6nlVlf_UZGZqd3AyMjRfMzB2a2YyYzZobQ&hl=en
I think that my research topic is very clear in my essay draft. I have tried to refer back to my main question in every paragraph so that there is a clear sequence to the information I present. I also like how I have incorporated my sources into my writing. I am somewhat concerned that my three content areas, PostSecret and Project Mortified, online blogging, and online review sites, are not clearly connected. I am also considering adding more sources to my paper. I have not yet completed my works cited page, but all of my sources are from my bibliography.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
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2 comments:
Well, I must agree- your paper is VERY clear and VERY well written. I love that it does not read like a research paper but as a narrative, a story.
My topic is Post Secret - which i found very interesting to see that someone else found it useful to incorporate into their research as well!
As for your concern about the 3 content areas not being "related" I would not worry at all. They clearly have something in common which is is anonymity. In fact, I think that all 3 areas being somewhat different is a good thing- it adds different layers to your paper, different ways for the reader to understand what you are putting out there.
First Reading - I really like this essay. I think it is very well done. The only thing that stuck out to me is that there is a little editing that still needs to be done. For example, you repeat yourself in one of the quotes.
Second Reading - I think the main idea of the essay is that anonymous websites allow for people to be completely honest with the sites. Anonymity makes that possible. To support this idea, you use the examples of postsecret and getmortified, which are both anonymous websites. You could write more about the idea of authorship with this subject. The essay is logical and clear. It might be nice to see a few more sources. Good job!
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